party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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