after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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