bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize