Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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