I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
