Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize