Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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