Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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