K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
