If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
In America we eat man semen.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
