Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
