I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How does it feel to date your dad?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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