Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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