Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
