Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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