South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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