I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
