I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize