He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
