She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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