i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Congratulations! We have a period
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
