I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think I sprained my soul last night
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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