i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
