He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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