Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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