my sisters under your porch take her home
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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