1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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