He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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