M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
