hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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