In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Reggie can tackle my bush.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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