why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
