Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
