we're blogging at a bar
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
