i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
