just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize