my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
