I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish you could order shots online.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
