dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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