I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
