Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize