Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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