I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
