She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
