ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize