I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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