My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize