ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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