i don't like sucking hair
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
