Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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