Swine flu. Run for my life!
I want to make a zoo with you.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
