is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he thought i was a dude.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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