ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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