Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
