Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
