dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
