I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
