He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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