i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
