...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
