I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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