wanna go halves on a baby?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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