My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just googled if crying burns calories
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
