she was so not down for the gang bang
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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