You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
