Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
