You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
