I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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