porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize