i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and i looked up. we had an audience...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
